“Parents play an important role in conveying their values,” says Kantor.
But before you tell your daughter exactly what she can or can’t do, understand there’s only so much you can control.
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Kantor suggests statements like, “The fact is, most people your age are not having sex.” Even as your daughter gains independence in some areas, when it comes to sex and dating you can and should stay involved. Don’t allow your daughter to spend a lot of unsupervised time with her boyfriend.
And don��t allow her to date someone who is two years or more older than her.
“The kids would talk about who was hooking up with who,” she says. “Whenever we ask kids where they get their information about sex, teens always say their #1 source is their mothers.” The problem is, you probably won’t find the perfect time to talk about it.
Ignore the Rolling Eyes and Talk to Her “The first thing mothers need to know is that they are a critical voice in their daughters’ sex education,” says Leslie Kantor, MPH, national director of education at Planned Parenthood Federation of America.
She might be relieved that she can use you as an excuse for saying no.
Admit That You Don’t Understand What if your daughter says you don’t understand the pressure she’s facing? As a mom, you can say, “I probably don’t understand.Maybe you can help me.” Then ask open-ended questions like: If you have your daughter’s trust, you can help her think through what she would do or say when the pressure is on.Treat Dating as a Learning Experience Girls start dating for a lot of reasons.Often, though this probably doesn’t motivate a lot of teens, dating is a chance to deal with rejection.On a deeper level, dating gives kids a chance to learn about relationships.Kantor, who is also an assistant professor at the Mailman School of Public Health at Columbia University, suggests using things that happen in your daughter’s everyday life to check in.