A narcissist may also be scouring for new drug dealers, meaning new supply, who they can hook up with.
The results of this are a brief high, that becomes a low again, needing even more attention in the future to come up and out of self-rejection.
The Co-dependent Model is to do this to try to alleviate feelings of self-doubt, not being good enough and feeling unattractive.
Believing that one’s worth is tried up in these things, rather than unconditionally loving and accepting ourselves.
Let’s look at the ways that we can seek validation from others, how narcissists do this also, and the results, and how to release ourselves from it. I really love this expression, ‘If we try not to upset everyone else, we will only upset ourselves.’ The Co-dependent Model of trying to please others to be loved is this: ‘If I give you enough of what you want, then you will grant me the love, approval, survival or security that will help me feel whole.’ The results of this are you are feeling emptied out, taken advantage of and not respected.
It doesn’t bring the love, approval, survival and security you wish to achieve, and can even be a recipe for staying attached to abuse.
That was me until I understood how much trauma and a mess ‘seeking validation’ really gets us into, and how it strips our self-esteem and personal power. Welcome to the Thriver’s Life series, the creation of your highest and best life after narcissistic abuse.
It’s so interesting when we understand that ‘seeking validation from others’ is one of the most serious ‘gaps’ we can have on the inside that makes us susceptible to narcissists.
With self-awareness and dedication to our inner work, we can move up and out of these trajectories of toxic relationships by healing and changing ourselves.
Being freed from the need for validation is one of the most empowering things we can ever achieve, in order to have healthy relationships with ourselves, others and Life, and I can’t wait to share with you why!
Or, you may believe that you have to tell them about your accomplishments.