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People feel like I’m arguing semantics, people feel like I’m making something sound romantic that was never supposed to be, people feel like I’m criticizing fathers for wanted to spend time with their daughters, which couldn’t be further from the truth.

Dads spending time with their daughters is a vitally important act—hanging out with my daughter is literally my favorite thing in the whole wide world.

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This isn’t a popular opinion, but I’m not a fan of the term “daddy-daughter date.” And I know that’s not a popular opinion because I’ve written about my dislike of the term in the past and it’s always attracted a lot of negative feedback.

I don’t know of any moms who get dressed up, bring their sons a boutonnière, and head out for a fancy night on the town.

One can argue that girls might be more inclined to enjoy this “fancy dress-up” more than boys might—although that’s a pretty big generalization—but, regardless, I think it’s pretty obvious that there are some pretty big differences, both in terms of perception and execution, when it comes to daddy-daughter dates and mommy-son dates.

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Can you think of a time when a mom takes her son out, they get dressed up, and she’s trying to show her son how his future girlfriends should treat him later in life? And it IS a romantic date structure because men don’t usually bring flowers or go dancing when they’re trying to express their respect for their aunts, female work friends, or sisters. placed in the same situations, what are moms supposed to do with their sons? Are the moms supposed to listen intently, laugh at his jokes, and tell him that’s he’s handsome? If a boy ends up with a woman who’s “just like his mother,” that’s generally perceived to be a bad or a weak thing. If we have fathers taking their daughters on admittedly innocent “dates” to teach them about how men should respect them, should mothers be doing the exact same thing?

Should mothers be using dates with their sons to prepare them for their future relationships?

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(One of those differences is that no one ever uses the term “mommy-son date.”) It seems like mother-son time together revolves around hanging out, while people often feel the need to structure father-daughter time around the format and iconography of actual dating. HOWEVER, daddy-daughter dates DO often ape their structure from the kinds of dates that boys and girls might go on in high school, like a Homecoming date, or a fancy-dress night on the town with one’s spouse.

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