My experience of online dating was to be harassed by dozens of people who were actually looking for a specific kink or a specific kind of relationship setup that they either weren’t honest about on their profile, or which I had not at all mentioned in mine.
And the point is then very much to move things beyond the dating profile as quickly as possible.
It’s about figuring out what you think might be valuable, but not letting that determine too much at this initial stage. They are trying to fit in getting to know you around getting to know however many other people, as well.
Equally, I described myself as a feminist in my profile.
Specifically because if a man approached me with, “Are you looking for marriage and a man to cook for everyday? “No thanks, I’m looking for an equal partner.” Straightforward.
The big thing I noticed is that first and third and whatever date rules are entirely out of the window.
In my experience, there were guys I went on 6 dates with and never slept with — these inevitably dissolved into nothing, as the chemistry was absent, but the point was that sometimes sex happens and sometimes it doesn’t, and nobody seems to have a clear number for when this should happen, any more.rowing up in the nineties, I absorbed information about dating and relationships from sitcoms.Lighthearted discussion of ‘first date’ rules, and ‘third date’ rules, gave me the notion that people followed a particular way of doing things, for the most part.There was an appropriate time to have sex for the first time, an appropriate time after which to meet friends and families, etc.But then I grew up, and became an adult, in the 2010s.Do everyone a favour, and make this clear in your profile or go to a place where you can specifically get that relationship type.