Hilarious dating stories

At the end he tried to kiss me so I dodged, tripped over a curb, and broke my fibula while falling into traffic.

The guy got down in the road with me, moved my hair behind me ear and said, 'We could tell people that we fell in love.'" From b_scribbs:"He asks me out to dinner, but instead of a restaurant he pulls into an empty parking lot and pulls out his half flaccid dick. ' I look him in the eye all stern like for a good minute before he zips up his pants and he drives me back home in complete silence.

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He also tried to forcefully order for me, which I brushed off like 'Lol no,' figuring it was all whatever, he's just nervous and trying to show off or some sh*t. At this point it would be pertinent to mention I'm a 5'8" female of average size, and he was a 6'2" stocky dude.

Everything was still going okay until he walked me to my car. I think 'Whatever, I don't care, that's fine.' We were making out a little and I felt his hand moving up to my face, and I thought 'Oh, okay, he's just going to put his hand on the back of my neck or my chin or in my hair or whatever'. I froze, because that's my response to threatening situations, and he leaned over and whispered in my ear 'Yeah, you like that?

Only when we pull in my driveway he said 'Your eyes are too big for your face...' I just get out and start walking to my door, but he gets out too, I figure to apologize.

But no, he tries to kiss me goodnight." From call_me_Eeyore:"So I matched with this dude who seemed nice, and we agree to meet up at a coffee shop.

You like being daddy's little sl*t.' I was just sitting there waiting for him to let go of my neck, because I am pinned against the car. My house was about 45 minutes away through isolated freeways in the desert.

I finally managed to stammer out a 'Wuh-what' and he proceeded to tighten his grip and repeat the question, to which my survival instincts are screaming " From Alma Llama6:"This was by far the most terrifying/hilarious date I had ever been on. (Accepting a ride was not my proudest moment, I admit) He talked the entire ride and it went from normal small talk to him saying that he has super powers.Thankfully, the very worst first dates often become hilarious stories in hindsight, though some remain complete terrors even years after the fact.Plus, many horrible first dates provide you excellent excuses to end a creepy-ass date before it goes too far.This definitely goes on our list of The 17 Worst Things a Man Can Say to a Woman.“Walked me to the bar, popped me down on a seat, said he was going [to the bathroom], never came back,” Quim Jong-un wrote.“He talked about himself nonstop and only asked me two questions: 1) Was Michael Jackson guilty and 2) What was the point of the Dewey Decimal System?

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