Helping kids cope with dating after divorce

If your children can start having fun with your new partner, then they are more likely to accept them into their lives without forcing the idea that they are here to replace their Dad or Mum. Kissing your new partner and hugging them every minute might put your kids off at first and it might be difficult for them to accept the concept of it all.

That way you can find someone not only close to your age, but also someone who can understand you better because of their maturity.

On the other side if you are still younger and your children are still young, then a younger partner won’t be such an issue.

Overtime once you meet someone nice who understands you and your family’s needs, then you can take the risk and eventually introduce them to your children. There is no point in introducing that new partner as ‘the new Dad or the new Mum’ to your children, as in their eyes no one will ever be able to replace that fatherly or motherly figure.

However it is important that you let your children know in advance if you plan to bring your new partner to live with you. Get your children to meet your partner for the first time in a casual manner, then have that new partner coming with you when you are having recreational and fun family times.

The truth is that if you don’t get a bit of ‘me-time’; things probably won’t work out.

You might even end up resenting your children, blaming them as the reason why you cannot find a new partner.

Your kids will want to know that you still have respect for your ex, and they might be a bit shocked if they see you with someone too soon after your divorce.

Also, it is a good way to show them that they are still your number one priority as you are willing to compromise and put them first.

This is why you’re better off showing restraint with signs of affection until you are ready to tell your kids that you and your new partner are now a couple.

If you are lying to your kids because of your new partner, they will hold it against them; and against you.

Instead keep things gradual, and this can be applied to how you date.

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