Think of 10 years as a general guideline, but be open to other ages as well—and don’t limit yourself to dating only someone older."' Cast a wide net' is what I tell all my clients,” Sussman says.I once thought I'd fallen in love with an adorable lawyer who started chatting with me while we waited at a crosswalk in Manhattan.
We continued to date until, eventually, our lifestyles proved drastically different.
His career and financial situations were a far cry from mine, and the idea of things getting serious felt rushed and scary to me.
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Couples with a big age difference need to think things through or risk finding themselves at conflicting stages in their relationship.
“You can see varied cultural references, disapproval from family and friends, and perhaps community disapproval, as well,” says Rachel Sussman, a licensed marriage and family therapist in New York.
“It might be hard to relate to each other’s peer groups too.”Since dating the lawyer, I’ve capped my ideal man at about five to seven years older than me, especially on dating apps, where you can filter out those in a specific age group.
But at the same time, I still keep an open mind—a big age gap doesn't have to be a nonstarter.
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A week later, somewhere between one and four glasses of wine, he told me I looked “quite young” and asked how old I was.“I’m 25,” I said, trying to seem proud of the number even though I’d just celebrated this birthday with a bit of dread about growing up.