These findings help explain why some older widowers I know have carved out lives for themselves without the slightest interest in dating or remarriage.One has expanded an acquaintanceship with another man who lost his wife.61 percent of men and 19 percent of women were remarried or in a romantic relationship by 25 months after a spouse’s death.
For a 2001 article in Ageing & Society, researchers interviewed 25 widows and 26 widowers 65 and older in the U. Widowers felt deprived by the loss of married life.
But most widows appreciated the chance to be “selfish” and focus on their own wants and needs now that they were on their own.
Dating is tricky enough as it is, but dating a widower has even more possible pitfalls.
Women may wonder if the issues that may arise are grief-driven or simply problems that the widower is struggling with. To make the experience as smooth as possible, he suggests: Women who date widowers should never feel like they're being compared or held up against the late wife.
They should feel loved and respected for who they are. Never make excuses for bad behavior or allow him to make his date feel second best because of grief. The book says "a man who loves you will move mountains to show you how he feels and a man’s actions are worth more than a thousand of his words." Learning how to communicate is essential to resolving issues and making sure the widower is ready to open his heart to you. Every widower is different and some may need more time before they are prepared to get into a new relationship. Margot Hovley's first novel will be published by Covenant Communications in 2012.
Find her self-reliance blog at read about her writing adventures at "The widow or widower is either ready to move on or they're not.You're not asking them to forget their memories, you're simply asking whether they are ready to start a new relationship and take the next step in their life.In the book, "Dating a Widower" (Ben Lomond Press, .99) Abel Keogh discusses this topic as an expert.After all, he was widowed nearly 10 years ago and has since remarried.Thanks to his patience, after about two years I finally felt ready to open up in very small doses." This person has been, and probably still is, going through a really tough time.